What Does Success Really Mean? Changing Limiting Beliefs

What Does Success Really Mean to You?

For years, I had a belief that kept me stuck: I could only achieve greatness with MindShift Therapy and get out of the “grey area” once I had plenty of money.

I spent years battling my way from paycheque to paycheque in a job that was alright, but no longer felt like me.

Some people refer to this period as the grey area: when you want to start your own business but continue working in a job to pay the bills.

It’s a period of life that people often forget when they look at someone who has “made it”.

The grey area can be filled with all sorts of emotions and thoughts:
What am I doing? Is it worth it? I don’t like my job anymore. I want to do what I love, but I can’t. I have to stick with this.

Often, you don’t know how long you’ll be in this grey area, and that feeling of endlessness can make it even harder.

For me, it took six years. But I kept going until I finally realised that my thinking was keeping me stuck.

The belief that kept me going in circles

I believed I needed lots of money before I could properly launch MindShift Therapy.

How wrong I was.

By repeatedly reinforcing this belief, I made it feel more and more real in my mind. I kept going around in circles with my blinkers on: showing up at work, wishing I could leave early, and watching the majority of my paycheque disappear into bills rather than things I actually enjoyed.

And my frustration was never far beneath the surface.

Then I decided to try something different.

What if money wasn’t the answer?

Visualisation is a powerful tool that we can access for free. So I decided to use it to challenge my belief.

I visualised myself having millions of dollars and asked myself:
“If I had all the money in the world, what would I do differently to get out of the grey area and make MindShift Therapy known?”

Guess what I saw?

I saw myself with all the money in the world, but still facing exactly the same challenges I had before.

The one obvious benefit was that I could pay my bills easily. But I would still need to put myself out there. I would still need to market my business, give public talks, write articles and connect with people.

Money wouldn’t do those things for me.

And that’s when I realised something important.

The belief that I needed money to start was a convenient way for my mind to delay taking action and keep me in the familiar.

I had been waiting for the circumstances to change before allowing myself to move forward.

But what if I could change something internally first?

The internal shift that changed everything

Once I recognised what was holding me back, I could start questioning that belief and choosing a different way forward.

For me, success became less about having lots of money and more about following my intuition. I began to see money as a natural add-on that could come as a result of pursuing what mattered to me, rather than something I had to acquire before I could begin.

And that’s when I experienced my own ripple effect.

My job hadn’t changed. I was still doing work that was alright, but that I no longer wanted to do forever. My circumstances hadn’t magically transformed overnight.

But my frustration disappeared.

And that was huge.

Instead of constantly fighting against the situation I was in, I began to accept it for what it was while working towards something different.

Imagine trying to build something you care about from a foundation of frustration compared with building it from a place of acceptance.

When you’re frustrated, so much of your energy goes into resisting where you are. When you accept your current circumstances, you can redirect that energy towards where you want to go.

I could now write articles, speak in front of people and market myself without the constant pressure of thinking, “I need money before I can start.”

I could focus on the actions available to me now.

An article might reach someone who connects with my message. Someone in an audience might decide to become a client or invite me to speak to a larger group.

And the ripple effect doesn’t stop with your goals. When you’re no longer carrying the same frustration, it can influence how you show up in your relationships with your partner, colleagues and other people around you.

One internal shift doesn’t instantly solve every external challenge. But it can change how you approach those challenges, the decisions you make and the opportunities you’re willing to pursue.

And that brings me to another question I had to ask myself.

So, what does success actually mean to me?

When I started questioning what success meant to me personally, something unexpected happened.

My mind went completely blank.

I grew up without a strong sense that a woman like me could achieve great things. So when I tried to visualise what a successful version of myself would look like, I struggled to picture it.

I had no clear image to work towards.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar. You know you want more from life, but when you try to imagine what that looks like, you struggle to put it into words.

Sometimes, what feels unfamiliar can be difficult to imagine. We tend to rely on what we already know, and that can influence what we believe is possible for us.

Then, one day, I watched an episode featuring a former top model who had experienced fame, substantial wealth and personal struggles, including addiction.

I looked at her and thought:

“I used to see having loads of money as success. But not anymore.”

That moment helped me recognise just how much my definition had changed.

To me, success means following my intuition and being kind to others, but just as importantly, being kind to myself.

It doesn’t mean that money is unimportant. Financial security and the opportunities money can provide still have value.

But money is no longer the thing that defines success for me.

You might already be more successful than you think

I used to think I had to reach a certain destination before I could consider myself successful.

Now, I see success in the smaller things, too.

When I write an article like this because I feel drawn to share an idea, I’m following my intuition.

When I make a small gesture of kindness towards someone else, I’m living according to my values.

When I recognise that I need to be kind to myself instead of constantly pushing harder, I’m practising the same principle.

And when I take one small step towards building the life I want, even while working my regular job, I’m moving forward.

I don’t have to wait until I’ve reached my destination to recognise that I’m making progress.

Perhaps that’s the real shift: realising that success isn’t always a place you arrive at one day. It can also be how you choose to live, the actions you take and the person you become along the way.

Sometimes, the biggest barrier isn’t a lack of opportunity, money or ability. Sometimes, it’s the belief that we need something else before we’re allowed to begin.

And when we start questioning that belief, we may discover that we have more freedom to move forward than we thought.

What does success mean to you?
Is it financial freedom? Building a business? Having more time for the people you love? Feeling confident enough to pursue something you’ve always wanted? Or perhaps it’s something entirely different.

There is no right or wrong answer. Money can absolutely be part of your definition of success.

But I’m curious:

Has your definition of success changed over time? And are you waiting to reach a particular destination before allowing yourself to feel successful?